My Wife the Bike Lane bumper sticker

We live in a society, and unfortunately that means deranged boomers on the internet are working overtime to come up with new conspiracy theories to explain why the world is changing in ways that inconvenience them.

Anyway, that's not the case here though because this 100% happened for real to my neighbour's cousin's ex-fraternity brother's gardener-in law! And when the deep state illuminati inevitably seizes your car and turns your wife into a bike lane, you're gonna need this sticker. You might as well get it now in preparation. As they say, a stitch in time saves nine. But nothing will save your wife from being turned into a bike lane. 

This bumper sticker is 9x2 inches of durable waterproof glossy vinyl. It says "My other car was seized by deep state illuminati who also turned my wife into a bike lane!" and features an old-timey fairy with a magic wand who works for the deep state and is definitely the one who will turn your wife into a bike lane.