Welcome to Canada, a colonial grocery oligarchy and where everyone outside Saskatchewan is born and dies all while spending our lives playing a miserable game of musical-chairs with our three cell phone providers.
What better place to start off what will no doubt be a month long reminder that Canada was founded by a corporation and will likely cease to exist only when Loblaw fulfils its horrible destiny to absorb every business, man, woman and child, than by ranking the terribleness of our telecoms.
So we're starting with two of the Big Three
Bell wants to talk, so let's do that.
For almost a decade, Bell's marketing event of the year hasn't hinged on good deals of snappy advertisements, but on you opening up about your struggles with mental illness. For a decade now, we've spilled our deepest sorrows on the internet and politicians and celebrities' talk about how they get sad sometimes in the name of "StArTiNg a ConVeRsAtIoN"
It's been all talk and no action from the ruling class who happily take the opportunity to be #brave on the internet while simultaneously refusing to reform mental healthcare. All of that is infuriating on its own, but Bell is also a machine churning out layoffs, depression, isolation and "this content is unavailable in your country" pop-ups.
Frankly if we filled up this blog with everything terrible Bell has ever done, this blog would be a 300 page manifesto. A brief synopsis of their wrong doings:
- Gouging incarcerated Canadians who want to talk to their families
- Causing extreme anxiety for workers due to hostile workplaces
- Taking 122 Million dollars in CEWS and then laying of thousands of workers anyway
- Withholding "Framing Britney" for nearly 2 weeks
It's really hard to compare Bell to Telus, whose main high profile scandals were poorly executed attempts at union busting, a brief foray into pornography and at one point was animal neglect-adjacent.
We can't forget the scandal of Telus locking Left Merch into a 2 YEAR CONTRACT JUST TO PAY MORE AND GET EXACTLY THE SAME SHIT INTERNET AS WE HAD WITH SHAW 😡
So Telus is the clear underdog of this match up, and this whole thing may just come down to how many of you have been personally victimized by Telus Communications.